🤦🏻♀️ When Everyone Talks Over You
Real-world advice for running discussions that actually get somewhere
👋 Happy Saturday, my dear UX friends, Marina here! Welcome to this week’s ✨ Saturday edition ✨ of UX Mentor Diaries where I tackle readers’ (and my students’) questions about building strategic influence as a UXer and accelerating UX careers. If you read it and value it, please consider sharing, liking this post and/or becoming a premium subscriber (here’s why)
This week's question touches on a challenge that many of us face, especially as we grow in our careers:
"I run cross-functional meetings for our UX projects, but I struggle to maintain control. Product managers jump in with solutions before we've defined the problem, engineers debate technical constraints before we've discussed user needs, and stakeholders often talk over me. How do I command these meetings effectively?"
… the classic "everyone-talking-over-each-other" scenario…
I remember a particularly chaotic meeting where 3 different stakeholders were simultaneously trying to solve 3 different problems (none of which were actually on the agenda.)
Let's see how we can transform these chaotic sessions into productive discussions where your UX expertise truly shines—
🛠 The Meeting Command Toolkit
First, let's reframe how we think about meeting management.
This isn't about dominance—it's about orchestration.
You're not trying to control people, you're creating space for the right conversations at the right time.
1️⃣ The Pre-Meeting Power Play
The real work happens before anyone enters the room.
✅ Set Clear Expectations:
Send a structured agenda with timing
Define clear meeting outcomes
Assign pre-work if necessary
Establish ground rules
Pro tip: I learned from a brilliant UX director to include this statement in every agenda: "This meeting is for [specific outcome]. We will not be [what you won't cover]. That will be addressed in [follow-up meeting]."
2️⃣ The “Opening Momentum” Framework
The first 3 minutes set the tone!
💪 Strong Opening Script: