4 Moves That Help First-Time UX Leaders Get Taken Seriously

How to lead former peers, build authority and earn respect (without acting like a boss)

👋 Happy Saturday, my dear UX friends, Marina here!

Here is the situation ↴

You finally got the promotion, woohoo!
But instead of feeling confident, you're feeling... ignored.
People go around you.
Former peers act weird.
You're unsure how to lead without overcompensating.

That’s exactly what happened to today’s reader, a brand-new UX leader leading 4 designers at a fintech company.

She wrote in with a story I’ve heard quite a few times before…

I call it, the First-Time UX Manager’s Paradox—

Here’s a quote from her message:

“…I was just promoted from Senior UX Designer to UX Manager. I’m thrilled, but struggling. Two people on my team have been here longer (one is 10 years older), and I sense some resistance when I try to lead.

In meetings, PMs and engineers sometimes skip over me and go directly to my team members. And former peers now treat me weirdly - some are overly casual, others a bit distant.

I know I can lead. I KNOW I can. But how do I do it in a way that earns respect, without looking like trying too hard? I want to grow into this role without faking it or feeling like I’m constantly proving myself.”

Let’s talk about what’s really happening here—and how to lead with authority without becoming someone you’re not.

👇

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The First-Time UX Manager’s Paradox

One day you’re a respected IC.

The next, you’re leading people who used to be your peers, and suddenly, everything feels... different.

This is one of the trickiest transitions in a UX career.

Not because you’re unqualified—
But because the role asks you to be 2 things at once:

• Respected AND approachable

• Decisive AND collaborative

• Confident AND humble

Add in managing people older than you, or more tenured, and the emotional stakes rise fast 😩

But here’s the good news, though—
You already have the core skills.

- Your systems thinking
- Your empathy
- Your focus on human behavior

Now, you’re just applying those to a new domain:
You are designing the team experience instead of the user experience.

Let me walk you through a framework I’ve developed while coaching dozens of first-time UX leaders through this exact challenge.

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The Authority Equilibrium Framework

Or, how to lead with confidence - without losing yourself ;)

And definitely, NOT about “acting like a boss.”
But about crafting a leadership presence that feels like YOU - and earns respect from others.

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There are 4 focus areas to work on.

Each one builds a different kind of credibility.

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1️⃣ Reset the Boundaries

When you become a manager, the relationship with your team must evolve.

If you skip this step, you WILL stay stuck in peer mode - no matter what your title says, so don’t make this mistake.

Here’s what to do ↴

👉 Have a “relationship reset” conversation with each team member.

Acknowledge the change.

Be open, direct - and human.

Example:

“I really value the rapport we’ve built. As I step into this new role, I want to make sure we’re aligned on how we’ll work together moving forward. I’m here to support your career growth—but also need to lead in a way that sets us all up for success. Let’s talk about how we make that real.”

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👉 Create a “Manager README”

This isn’t a list of rules.

It’s a short doc that outlines your leadership style, decision-making lens, and how you plan to support the team. Invite feedback.

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👉 Define communication norms

When should people loop you in?

How do you want escalations handled?

Example:

“If something affects scope, timelines, or external stakeholders, I need visibility before decisions are made. For design details, you have full autonomy - just keep me in the loop.”

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2️⃣ Redefine YOUR Value

You used to lead through craft.

Now, your job is to lead through impact.

Here’s how to do it ↴

👉 Run a “contribution audit”

List everything you're currently doing.

Then split it into 4 buckets:

1. Keep doing

2. Gradually delegate

3. Hand off immediately

4. Start doing as a manager

This helps you make space for the new responsibilities you’ve taken on.

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👉 Make the invisible visible

A lot of what you now do happens behind the scenes.

Don’t let it stay invisible:

• Share weekly manager updates

• Explain why decisions are made, not just what

• Let the team know how you’re advocating for them behind closed doors

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👉Pick 1–2 areas to stay hands-on

Stay credible by staying sharp.

Choose a couple domains to stay deep in, while encouraging your team to grow their own specialties.

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3️⃣ Build Your “Influence Infrastructure”

Your credibility inside the team is shaped by how others see you outside the team.

What you can do ↴

👉 Map your influence network

Identify the stakeholders who matter most:

• Who are they?

• How strong is your current relationship?

• Where can you bring value to them?

Then start building those relationships deliberately—not just reactively.

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👉 Control the narrative

If decisions affect your team, you should be the one communicating them.

Add context.

Share the backstory.

Make it clear you’re in the room where it happens.

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👉 Set up “escalation allies”

Build trust with 2–3 senior leaders before you need their help.

Example form another new leader mentee:

“I’ve started grabbing coffee once a month with our VP of Product—not for anything urgent, just to build rapport so when the hard stuff comes up, there’s already a connection.”

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4️⃣ Lead by Showing (Not Just Talking)

It may seem obvious but still worth repeating: you can’t command respect—you earn it through small, visible wins that show you’re here to lead.

How to do it ↴

👉 Pick one focus area for your first 90 days

Choose a meaningful challenge your team is facing, and make clear, measurable progress on it.

Don’t try to fix everything, solve something real.

Show you can lead with focus and clarity.

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👉 Make your decision-making transparent

When you make a call, explain:

• What options you considered?

• What criteria you used?

• Who you consulted?

• Why you landed where you did?

• How success will be measured?

This builds trust faster than any title ever could!

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👉 Clarify your role in design feedback

Use a tiered approach so your team knows when and how you’ll weigh in:

• Level 1: Team owns it entirely

• Level 2: You review before it ships

• Level 3: You collaborate actively

• Level 4: You lead the work with team input

Being explicit about this removes the guesswork … and avoids stepping on toes ;)

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Bottom line ↴

You don’t need to become a different person to be seen as a leader.

You just need a clear structure for how to show up differently.

And once you do, respect follows!

See you next Saturday!

-Marina

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