😌 The Art of "Gentle Influence"

5 unexpected ways to win hearts (and design decisions)

👋 Happy Saturday, my dear UX friends, Marina here!

Today, I want to share an interesting question from one of our community members that I think quite a few may relate to:

"…I'm leading design for a fintech product, and I'm struggling with something that's been bothering me lately. In meetings, I often find myself holding back my UX recommendations because I'm worried about coming across as pushy or condescending. Just last week, I had solid user research backing up why we needed to redesign our onboarding flow, but I couldn't find the right way to present it without seeming like I was criticizing the current solution.

How do I balance being persuasive without coming across as pushy or condescending?"

This question touches on something I've seen countless UX leads grapple with throughout their careers.

It's that delicate balance between advocating for users and maintaining positive relationships with our cross-functional teams.

So let's unpack this challenge and explore some practical strategies that have worked well for me and many successful UX leaders I've mentored.

The Art of Influential Design Leadership

Here's something I've learned over the years:

true influence in UX doesn't come from pushing harder—it comes from pulling people along on the journey with you.

Let me share how this works in practice.

1. Make it a Shared Discovery

Instead of presenting solutions as “fait accompli”, invite stakeholders into your thought process.

Here's what this looks like:

❌ Rather than saying: "Our research shows this [design approach] isn't working, and we need to change it."

✅ Try: "I'd love to walk you through what we're hearing from users and explore together how we might address these patterns."

This subtle shift transforms the dynamic from confrontation to collaboration.

You're no longer the critic pointing out flaws—you're a partner in solving problems.

2. Lead with Curiosity, Not Conclusions

One of the most powerful tools in a UX leader's arsenal is genuine curiosity.

Before presenting your recommendations:

• Ask stakeholders about their perspectives on the current solution

• Understand the constraints and considerations that led to the existing design

• Show interest in the history of previous decisions

This approach accomplishes 2 things: it helps you gather valuable context and demonstrates respect for the work that came before.

3. Frame Around Shared Goals

Here's a technique I've found particularly effective:

Always connect your UX recommendations to broader business objectives.

For instance: