👉 How do I get out of "order taker" mode when I’ve been in it for years?
They trust you to ship. Not to shape. Here's how to flip that.
👋 Happy Saturday, my dear UX friends, Marina here!
Let’s be brutally honest for a second:
You’re respected. You’re helpful. You deliver.
And that’s exactly why they don’t see you as a leader.
You became the person who “gets it done.”
The reliable one.
The no-drama, low-friction, always-on-point pro.
And somewhere along the way… you disappeared from the strategy table.
You’re consulted after the plan is made.
You’re brought in when decisions are locked.
You’re in the room, but never at the front of it.
You didn’t choose to play small.
You just learned - over time - that it was safer.
Faster to say yes.
Easier to ship than to fight.
Less exhausting than constantly defending your thinking to people who “already know what users want.”
But here’s the cost:
You become the one they trust to execute.
Not the one they trust to decide.
And if you’ve been in that lane for years?
They can’t even imagine you doing anything else.
So let’s change that.
Here’s how this shifts - without quitting your job or begging for “a seat at the table”:
Not all at once.
Not with a “rebrand.”
Not by announcing you’re suddenly strategic now.
It starts quietly - with 1 move ↴
👉 Change the questions you ask.
If your default is:
“What do you need from me?”
You’re reinforcing the dynamic.
Try instead:
“What happens if we are solving the wrong problem?”
“What user behavior are we assuming here, and what evidence backs it up?”
“What’s the risk if we ship this as-is?”
Even if you don’t have an answer.
Even if it makes someone pause.
Even if they “hand-wave” it away.
That moment - that pause - is where the shift starts.
Also: Stop waiting for permission to lead.
You won’t get it.
If you’ve been in order-taker mode for a long time, no one’s coming to say:
“Hey! We’d love for you to push back more and challenge our assumptions.”
It’s on you to do it anyway.
Say the thing that feels risky.
Write the Slack message you’re scared is “too opinionated.”
Frame your work in terms of business risk and strategic value, not just user polish.
You don’t need a new title to be seen differently.
You need a new posture.
And once people see you as the one asking better questions—
Not louder.
Not more polished.
Just better?
They won’t unsee it.
If this hit a nerve, you’re not alone.
This is the trap that keeps a lot of senior UXers stuck in “trusted executor” mode for years longer than they want.
And the longer you stay quiet, the harder it gets to shift.
Start small.
One meeting.
One question.
One reframe.
Then do it again.
They already trust you to ship.
Now it’s time to show them you can shape!
See you next Saturday!
P.S. I go deeper on this in Secrets to UX Career Success—the paid series inside UX Mentor Diaries. It’s built for experienced UXers who feel overlooked, under-leveraged, or lowkey resentful. If that’s you, you’ll feel seen in every issue ;)
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